The real reason people are not happy

 

This is a good one.

So, you were born into this world, then you had a tomorrow and more tomorrows came and more would come.

But, what thrusts you into this moving forward series of events that we experience every day to begin with, that we call life?

History has proven that parents could have the best of intentions, and they could want the best life for their kids. Many parents even live every day to provide the best life for the kids.

How is it that many of these kids venture down a path in life living the complete opposite direction of what their parents intended.

Where does this come from?

If a child or children in the same family are raised a certain way and yet end up going down a different path then what his or her parents intended, how does that happen?

One could argue that life events caused this “seemingly by chance” path to occur which would be both correct and incorrect.

It is the child who makes the choices and the decisions and there is reason for this. The child is not thrust into a different life or to follow a different path “by chance”.

If you were to retrace the life of the child, you would find that all of the decisions, every single one of them were made by the child good or bad, and nothing happened by chance.

This is because the child has thoughts that are mostly independent of his or her parents.

When the child has a thought, if it happens to also be experienced by his or her senses such as in a feeling, that thought is impressed into the child's subconscious mind, and that thought begins to grow until it is made material in the life of the child.

Parents can spend hours lecturing their child, they could spend countless days trying to “push” what they want onto the child, but unless the child can experience in his or her senses the actual feeling or desire to do what his parents want for him, its not going to happen because the child's subconscious mind will always win.

Why?

Because the subconscious will always hear and answer the thought and feeling that is most dominant of the given individual and not what someone else imposes on another.

I'm not talking about small children here. I'm talking about older kids from let's say 10 or 12 year – old and on. It gets even harder during the adolescent years and now you know why.

The older the child becomes, the more independence they desire because they are their own person and do not see themselves in the same light or as “mutually connected to their parents desires”, as their parents do. The child has their own. 

When you have a child that does exactly what their parents want; jobs, school, profession and becomes exactly what the parents want, all the way into adulthood, that child now an adult, is almost always...very unhappy.

Now earlier I wrote; “But, what thrusts you into this moving forward series of events that we experience every day, to begin with that we call life?”

The answer to that question is this; it is your conscious and subconscious mind that are always working together to literally create events and the tomorrow that you wake up to every day moving forward.

Nothing at all is ever by chance. You literally manifest your life as you are living it and from one day to the next.

The problem is that most people just go day to day sort of by default, simply trudging along believing that life dictates to them what happens, instead of the other way around. I won't get into why because that is a very long post for another day.

However, most people are conditioned from birth. That's it. That's really all there is to it.

They are conditioned to strive for better. There is nothing wrong with that, but the question is whose better are you striving for?

You are for the most part conditioned to believe that “better” means you need to follow the crowd in one sense or another, and you see it every single day:

Follow the crowd who goes to the best colleges to eventually get the best job, because that is what others do, and that is what you are "supposed" to do. 

Follow the crowd who works hard until they are 65 when they can retire, because that's what others do, because that is what you are "supposed" to do.

Follow the crowd to establish a two income household and to have your kids basically raised in daycare, because that's what others do; and add a dog and your life's complete, because that is what you are "supposed" to do. 

Follow the crowd, follow societies measure of success and happiness and do what you have been conditioned to believe is what you are "supposed" to do. 

Live your life that way, while searching for the "pre-conditioned" success and happiness measured by the same people and society who conditioned you, and let's see why so many people are...UNHAPPY, suffering from depression or experiencing some level of self destruction.

When you are conditioned from birth to live your life this way and in accordance to others desires, rules and expectations, your conscious and subconscious mind are in conflict, it's a constant battle. There is no peace. 

You can think of your conscious mind and your subconscious mind as male and female. This is the law of gender, another universal law. Gender exists in everything. 

If a husband and wife are constantly battling, it results in unhappiness among other things. They may try methods to work it out and to stop the battling, and eventually many result in divorce. They split up.

Well, one cannot “divorce” or "separate" themselves from their subconscious mind, so what do you think happens if the conflict and battling doesn't stop?

Misery plain and simple.

And because that misery is internal, it will (and I assure you), manifest outwardly in some destructive form or another. 

There is no shortage in the world of unhappy people: alcoholics, drug addicts (any kind of abuse) etc.
Unhappiness rears its head in many ways not those just pointed out here.

And there will be those who argue though that these types of addictions are hereditary, and they are right. They are right because everyone is conditioned from birth and for generations. Its literally a generational thing.

You were not meant to be, to do, to have or to become anything other than what you desire to be, to do, to have or to become.

You weren't. You were born with consciousness and a subconscious mind with free will to live your life every day in the manner you so choose. You were not meant to be conditioned to live your life in accordance to the desires of any person, group of people or society, or to do so because that is what you are "supposed to do". 

If you think that if everyone thought this way there would be no doctors, no lawyers, no scientists, no any profession, no advancement in technology, you are dead wrong.

There will always be people who want and who desire to become any one of these professions, and who are not driven simply through conditioning from someone else's desires pushed onto them.

Think about this; every now and then an individual is born who, no matter the amount of diligent upbringing or lack of, no matter strict conditioning or financial back ground or lack of, they will become what they want to become. 

Why?

Because they are born with the natural inclination to follow what they want, they follow their desires and they refuse to be denied that right.

We call it "driven". 

Ironically, we usually celebrate these people when they have achieved all of those accomplishments, even if in the long run, we didn't agree with choices they made along the way due to our own conditioning and need to put our own limitations onto them.

We call it "beating the odds".

In the end we revel in their achievements and hold them high due to what they have accomplished, all the while completely and ignorantly unaware that the person did it through his own want, desire and refusal to be held back by the imaginary limitations set by conditioning.

In today's society, we celebrate the 1 or 2 in 10 people who actually succeed in making achievements as in the above scenario. That too is because most people have been conditioned to believe that these people are simply "extraordinary".

The reality is this: 

It's the 8 or 9 people out of 10 in society (and this includes family members) who have been conditioned to believe that they have no power to attain their wants and desires and could never be extraordinary. 

In turn, they want you to do what they do; "what you are "supposed to do", which is based only on more conditioning, and serves absolutely no real useful purpose for anyone. 

You have been manifesting your tomorrows for years without realizing it, and your life today is the result good or bad, happy or not. If you could learn how to control you're manifestations (and you can) and to step out of the conditioning that has molded you, you could create and dictate the life that you want rather then trudging through life allowing it to dictate to you. 

So what paranormal stuff happened in the cabin in Vermont?

 

I have been somewhat reluctant to write this and you will read why.

First of all, you should know that I manifested the cabin in Vermont.
The first night after we arrived at the cabin in Vermont of course it was a bit creepy. Well I think it seemed creepy because it was new to us, new surroundings and in an unfamiliar tiny town. 

I have never experienced such stillness in the air or sound at night anywhere before. My previous farm on 50 acres got nothing on this.

It was eerily quiet here. I think what made it creepier was no street lights, no house lights from other houses. One dim light on the right side yard, but other than that, nothing. It didn't help that there was an old vacant farm house across from the yard and to our right, or that we had a completely unobstructed view of it.

I would turn the outside light on while standing out there, but you couldn't see on either side of the cabin or even the front lawn past maybe 12 feet. The light bulb itself was one of those that has to "warm up" to be at its brightest which here was basically a little brighter than "dim".

It was rather unnerving. Nothing but darkness and silence, and no one around. 

The pic on the right is how far we actually see at night in the front of the cabin from the porch. The tan is the ground with a small amount of melted snow left. 

We however, have our dogs with us. All 3 of them, so I knew if anything was around they would know it well before I would and I also knew that I was safe because my dogs will protect me.

My dogs are far from little, they are all Pitbull's, real Pitbull's. They are not the 4 inch from the ground, wide ½ Bulldog kind of Pitbull's.

My oldest just turned 7 in September 2022. She is the smallest of the bunch weighing only 50 lbs. But she is solid. They all are.

Then I have my second oldest. She is 5 as of December 2022. She weighs 70 lbs.

And then there's my youngest. She just turned 5 in January 2023. She weighs in at 145lbs. I'm telling you, no one takes her for being a girl. She is massive with a big, blocky head attached to ridiculously wide shoulders and a muscular body to match. She's a tank really.

She's the baby, and I refer to her as “the baby”. In fact, when the other 2 hear me say; “you are upsetting the baby” (when the older 2 wrestle each other) they immediately stop and look directly at her.

Everyone knows she is “the baby”. They are all my babies of course and I spoil them ridiculously, but because she is the youngest, I literally use the term “baby”, despite that is not her name.

All three of my dogs are friendly, but only in the sense that they more or less “tolerate” other people.

They are not aggressive and have never hurt anyone. But, they are highly protective of us and become extremely suspicious of any person that isn't “us”.

So, to be on the safe side, when we have people over, my dogs are comfortably placed into their bedroom for safety purposes (yes, I said bedroom).

My dogs have there own bedroom with a TV, an oscillating Fan, 3 toddler beds, their own pillows, blankets, toy's etc. and, my dogs also have a nanny for when we need to leave, as they are never alone, and have never been left alone, and boy do they love their nanny!!

Do they stay in their toddler beds all night? Not usually. No, they usually end up in my or my son's bed sometime during the night, but their bedroom is more or less used for when we have people over. 

Anyway, back to the story.

It was the second day that we were here when the paranormal started to rear it's head: I was sitting in one of the Adirondack chairs on the front porch sipping my coffee and enjoying the beautiful brightly colored fall leaves when I notice an old woman sitting in a chair ( a rocking chair) in a window in the vacant house. She was wearing an ivory scarf on her shoulders.

The old woman was sitting there rocking and just staring straight ahead towards a window in front of the house. Outside that window and across the street was a very old slaughter barn.

I immediately felt sorrow. Like super deep sorrow.

I got the impression that this woman had been house ridden for along time. The slaughter barn that is across the street; I got the impression that it was part of the property that the vacant house was on at some point in the past, and that it was her husband and the barn who she was watching from the window.

So, I knew that the old woman was not there at this moment in time, the house was vacant.
But, because I have experienced these kinds of things and more paranormal and demonic oddities pretty much my entire life, I chose to ignore it.

But no, that just wouldn't do. Every time I would go outside and on the porch, there she would be in that same damn window, looking straight ahead rocking her chair, and the feeling of sorrow would consume me.

At this point, I'm thinking that the sorrow I felt was her sorrow from being house ridden. I initially believed that she was house ridden due to an illness that made her crippled and that was the sorrow I was picking up on, perhaps she longed to go outside but she couldn't.

A day or two of this had gone by, then I stopped seeing her in the window.

OK great, I'm no longer manifesting ghosts here I thought and I went about my business.

The following day, I went outside and onto the porch and looked over and saw something fairly tall and “white” in the house, but it was as if it were across the room from the window I could see in.

You could literally see straight through inside this house because there was nothing in any of the windows (which made it that much more creepier, especially at night).

I looked away because I thought it may have just been a covered up piece of furniture that I was seeing perhaps due to the sunlight from outside.

Well, I was compelled to look back, and that “tall white” thing was smack dab directly in the window in all of its up and close glory as if it was letting me know I saw it, and it wanted me to know it.

Whatever the hell it was, it had quickly moved from where I had originally seen it across the room from the window, to being directly in front of the window as if it were letting me know that I had seen it!

I went back inside the cabin and decided to spill my guts to my mother and to my son.

Funny how my mom said she thought she saw something earlier that day too, but she said she thought it may have been glaring from the sun. But, she did say that she always feels that something is watching her and that my son had said the same thing to her.

That night at about 10:30pm my son and I went outside to enjoy the fall night, really because I was too chicken to go outside and sit alone and I didn't feel like wrestling with the dogs as I had already taken them out, got them their snacks for the night and put them to bed at 10pm.

But, I wanted to enjoy our time in Vermont. It's not every day that we will have the time or ability to do this again, so I wanted to enjoy it.

So, we go outside and onto the porch. And me being me can't help but to point out the damn window in which I keep seeing things, to my son. The house is vacant and has literally no light in it. So, to me it wasn't a big deal and likely would see nothing due to the darkness.

Well, I was wrong.

And after seeing what I saw, I realized exactly what I was dealing with and what it represented concerning the old woman and the sorrow.

In a window to the right of the window that I was seeing the old woman and the tall white thing, there was just a profile of a person, again staring straight forward toward the front of the house (I was looking at it from the left side of the house).

Another words, the left side of the vacant house itself was on my right and so were the windows that I was seeing.

I don't even know how I could see this, there is only a fairly dim light on that side. But the profile was very close to the window and it was as if there was a bit of a glow where the face was.

My son and I decided that we would stop talking about it because our experiences has shown that the more you talk or think about this kind of stuff, the more happens. And so, we let it go.
Ignore, ignore, ignore. If you remove your focus from something, it cannot exist.
That is another law of the universe. 

As my son and I are talking about some short movies he wanted to show me on you tube when we were to go back in, my eyes are drawn over my son's shoulders and beyond to the window again, and I see what I can only describe as this:   
    

It was looking directly at me. The face was not exactly as it is in this picture used for the movie the Exorcist, but pretty damn close, minus the cuts and scratches, and it is the same face that I have seen many times before.

From my own experience and from what you could probably guess, this face represents something not very nice and as a neighbor in the house next door, I probably do not want to be having any coffee with it. It spooked me because for me I suspected that this means that it's going to get rough, like super rough.

Well, that is when I decided to write about what was happening, as it was happening.

After this, It didn't take very long for things in our cabin to really get going or for my dogs to be  freaking out. 

My smallest one especially, she would literally try and climb up on chairs, the couch or anything to get to whatever it was they could see high up on a wall or the ceiling, that we couldn't.

As I wrote in my book, family members have been possessed in the past among some of the more frightening things, and I wasn't about to go there again, Oh hell no!

That was my reaction after three nights of banging, the TV turning on and off, the outside light turning on and off, my dogs following and chasing something we couldn't see from room to room barking at it, seemingly cornering it, dark shadows from window to window walking outside around the cabin and me writing it all down frantically. It was crazy.

This cabin has no attic. But if it did, that would be where the loud banging sounded like it was coming from. The roof? The ceiling? I had no idea.

My mom would turn the TV on to watch her morning shows, and it would shut off not five minutes later. She'd walk over toward the remote, the TV would turn back on before she would get to it.

We'd all be sleeping and the TV would turn on by itself in the middle of the night, the bathroom light would turn on by itself, and the outside porch light, no matter how many times I would turn that damn thing on, it would shut off on it's own or vice versa. 

The dark shadow thing walking outside all around the cabin? No idea. But there it was making itself known and we all saw it including the dogs who would literally go bananas jumping up in the windows, barking and whining.

It was just getting to be too much though. My poor mom was saying to me; “What is with you and your kids?, Every place we go, we have these issues, this isn't normal!"

She's 82, this is the last thing she needs to deal with especially after finally being able to experience being in a cabin in Vermont. 

And the more I wrote, the more that was happening and the more we were all experiencing the fall out.

You should know that this is not abnormal for us as our true stories indicated in my book. This was our normal and it was our normal for a very long time. 

This has literally been a life long occurrence no matter where we go, no matter what house we live in and no matter who is with us.

Of course eventually I learned that the more I focus on this stuff, think about it etc. the more that will happen. So, I stopped writing about it and I told my mom and my son we were not to talk about it at all no matter what goes on. Which is why I was a bit reluctant to write this post.

It all stopped as quickly as it started because (and you should also know) that it took me a long time to realize that I was actually the cause of it. Yes, I was the one making this stuff happen. I was creating what you may know as a Poltergiest or less commonly known as Psychokinesis.

Except, it doesn't only result in banging or slamming for us. If I continue to allow it, "things" manifest: ghosts, demons, possessions, growling, things get moved, (even a fire at one point) that everyone experiences. 

What began years ago through a lot of anxiety (unknown to me) became creations in reality manifested through my subconscious mind.

Creating these paranormal or demonic types of things is quite easy for me because I still have weakness for that kind of stuff in my subconscious mind.

But I can use my subconscious mind and do today, to manifest other things, and this is what this blog is about along with trying to help others to manifest the things and the life they want too. 

And now you know why I also include posts about how not to manifest horrible things or things that can harm. 

Thanks for reading.

If this is the first post you read on this blog, I suggest you now go here

Don't let desperation sabotage you!

 

Yes, I am still in the cabin in Vermont.

In a previous post, I was writing about a Ouija board and I alluded to the fact that due to my prior staunch Catholic life brought upon me through my ex husband and mother-in-law for almost 30 years, it was deeply rooted in me that a Ouija board was evil and it had the power to conjure up demonic things.

I also stated in my post that I was trying to teach my oldest daughter a lesson: if you don't believe in it, it can't have power and it can't harm you.

However, after what we had experienced, it turned out to be a super hard and traumatizing lesson for all of us instead because there was a tiny shred of belief of the Ouija board in our (and my) subconscious minds.

There was doubt. The simple hint or suggestion that the Ouija board had any power at all, lingered somewhere in the depths of our subconscious minds.

That tiny shred of doubt in reality (in our 3 dimensional world) created for all of us: a storm of horrible events that snowballed.

This is why:

If you want to believe in a thing that is the opposite of what you have been taught or that you have believed in for a long time, that tiniest shred of doubt that is hiding in your subconscious, will ALWAYS sabotage you until you remove the doubt COMPLETELY.

That is why you will often hear the phrases: Believe in your assumption, Assume you already have it, have faith in your assumption etc.

I wanted to believe that the Ouija board had zero power and I wanted my daughter to believe that as well. But did I really believe it didn't have power?

Due to all of the staunch, daily, Catholic teachings and the fear instilled in me of evil and the Devil, my subconscious quickly honed in on my fear and my doubt and brought that into reality, therefore making all of us suffer the consequence of haunting, possessions and demonic activity and for years long after.

Because after that happened, it only proved to us that the Ouija board did have powers, right? And so the cycle of haunting and demons went on for years.

At that time, once it was confirmed for us that the Ouija board had powers, any doubt at all that it didn't was completely annihilated, and all hell broke loose.

And that is exactly how people get into cycles they don't want. They create something in their life, usually without realizing it (by default), the more they experience it, the more real it becomes and it snowballs good or bad.

Be it poverty, be it wealth etc. I could list hundreds of things here. But most people relate to these two subjects, so I'm using those as examples.

And what this is, is cause and effect at play. Its a Universal law.

If we have a belief in something (it is impressed into our subconscious mind) and then something in our 3 dimensional world so-calls “proves” something to us, we accept it as real and we go with it and it snowballs and creates what we experience in our life.

But, we never realize that we are actually causing it and then experiencing the effects of what we have caused.

It all goes back to the hidden things in your subconscious mind.

We create in our subconscious mind and it then plays out in our 3 dimensional reality.

Most people just don't know that they can control this.

The principle of cause and effect:

"Every cause has its effect; every effect has its cause; everything happens according to law; chance is but a name for law not recognized; there are many planes of causation, but nothing escapes the law."
~ The Kyballion

When a person loses their job, what state of mind are they likely in?

Then bill collectors start hounding them when they can't pay their bills. This offers more proof of a looming financial disaster

Then they get evicted or lose their house, By this point, the person is convinced and they assume that they are facing financial ruin because everything they are experiencing is proving it to them; it's snowballing.

Once a person is at this point, how can they believe otherwise right? How can anyone change the situation that is unfolding right before their eyes when they are living and experiencing the proof of it.

And this is exactly why you need to stop living by default, and start taking control. And I'm telling you, you can.

Remove your focus from the problem (in the above case, looming financial disaster) and focus instead on what you want and where you want to be.

Remember this: Nothing can exist unless you focus on it. Two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. One must disappear. Only you can decide which one that will be, and that is accomplished through your focus and sensing.

It's hard. I'm not going to lie. It's hard when you have unwanted things right in your face. But, that's only because we are experiencing it from a 3 dimensional perspective. To us, it's very real.

It costs absolutely nothing! It takes a relaxed mind, detailed focus, persistence, and...assumption.

If it can be proven to you that financial disaster is looming, and can snowball into what you perceive to be - actual financial disaster, the opposite can also be proven to you and IT too can snowball just as easily.

I walked around my house daily for years terrified of the “demons” that were attacking my kids, never knowing what was coming next. Terrified that a knife would be thrown at me from across my kitchen to the point that I hid my butcher block and knives on the lowest shelf in my pantry and as far back on the shelf as I could and put a lock on the door. Same with lighters, matches etc.

I was terrified that my house was going to go up in flames while we were sleeping or otherwise because of the fires that had burst, while we were at church. Terrified who was going to be possessed next and what would they be capable of doing to my other kids, me or my husband.

And for every time that the “demons” reared their heads, it only served to prove to me, to all of us more and more that they were real and they were in my home. It was completely out of control and we were desperate for a solution. We had priests coming to bless every nook and cranny of each of our homes and holding masses in my living rooms. 

Because we were living a staunch Catholic life, and because I was taught to believe; that if I had placed the name of Jesus on all windows and doors, and hung a Crucifix over all entrances, the demons couldn't enter. And, so I did that too. And, due to my belief that those things worked, the demonic activity would stop for a while, and all it would take is praying as a family or a noise in the house and it would all begin again because I and we all, believed it.

To this day, I can produce them (demons and ghosts and all kinds of other crazy things) simply by thinking about it. It is still a weakness in my subconscious mind, and it doesn't take long at all for me to produce them once I get into that mode. Once that happens, everyone experiences the fall out because they begin to believe to.

In fact, when we first arrived at our cabin in Vermont, it didn't take long at all before things started to happen. It was absolutely ridiculous.

So, I began writing about them. And, the more I would write, the more would happen because that is where my focus was placed. When I stopped writing about it and switched my focus, it all stopped. Go figure.

The difference for me today is that I direct that power and my focus toward the things that I want to be real, instead of the unwanted.

That said, you cannot create something out of desperation because the Universe will only deliver more of what you do not want because you are sending signals of that feeling, and through the law of attraction (because that' s how it works) the Universe thinks that's what you want more of so it responds.

Again, it costs absolutely nothing. It takes a relaxed mind, detailed focus on what you want, persistence, and...assumption. This page can help provide more details on how to focus on what you want.

So, you want to be someone different? You want a different life? You want money?

Well, you created your current life. You created your today.

And you did it yesterday and the day before etc. If you want a different tomorrow, you need to create it today for your tomorrow.

If you would like to read more stories about the hauntings and demons my family experienced, I self published a book titled: "No One Would Believe It": A Collection of Short Unbelievable True Stories

Do you want to hear from or see someone you haven't seen in a while?

I had previously been a big fan of boxing and I had met Mike Tyson back in the 90's in Derry, NH and eventually lost touch due to many circumstances (long story). 

After losing touch and at one point, I had been offered to be trained to box “full contact” (this was when Christy Martin was popular and was a popular female boxer) by one of the trainers involved in training Peter McNeeley (the first fight Mike Tyson fought when he was paroled from Prison).

Well, hubby didn't like the idea of me boxing, he didn't want me risking my face getting all banged up, and so hubby made me a proposition I couldn't refuse: a baby. My son was then born nine months later.

Anyway, fast forward to 2005. It was when I was working out diligently.
I had heard that Mike Tyson would be fighting Kevin McBride and I wanted to see the fight ring side.

The problem was I had not spoken to Mike Tyson in so long, and so to me there was no real way that I would be able to see the fight.

So, I let the idea go and found myself just thinking about how the fight would play out. I wasn't focusing much on it at all, it would literally cross my mind, I'd picture myself and my husband sitting there watching the fight, and I would let it go.

Less than 12 days had gone by and I received a couple of phone calls from a phone number that I didn't recognize and so I didn't answer it. The third time I received a call again from this unrecognizable number, I answered and it was an old friend in Florida who I had not spoken to in a long time. Needless to say I was quite surprised and kind of taken back.

This person (I won't use his name) was actually the owner of a gym where Mike Tyson was working out in, at that time.

This old friend called to ask me if I wanted two ring side seats for the fight, and tickets to the before and after party for ...Mike Tyson.

I tell you, I was completely surprised. I wanted to go so bad but I knew that hubby would not be able to go (he would be working in New York for a few days at that point) and he would never in a million years let me go by myself.

So I had to decline and I gave him a number of reasons; I had nothing appropriate to wear, he said that would be paid for. I said my hubby wasn't available to come with me and I couldn't go alone, he said security would be provided to me. I said I didn't really have the money at the moment for the flight, he said that too will be covered. Everything would be covered!

No matter what I believed would have been blocking my ability to go, this old friend was unblocking them. LOL.

How do you say no to that? But, in the end I had to, although I do regret it now.

The point is, I created the entire situation through my thoughts and a bit of focusing without even realizing it. Even though I had so many reasons to decline, every single one of them was dismissed as not being an issue at all.

That right there is the power of the universe. 

The focusing technique I wrote about here is the way to create and to manifest anything you want. It really comes down to your ability to focus in detail and to sense (the feeling). With practice you will get stronger and stronger at it. 

A new house, a new town, a new but old nightmare

 

It is 2001 and my husband and I purchased a home in central NH. We outgrew our home in Londonderry and now we had five children. Yes, I delivered a baby boy in 1998.

We needed space and a 50 acre farm seemed to be it.

It was a beautiful, renovated farm. It had everything a family could possibly ask for; aside of new renovations, it also had a beautiful in-ground heated pool and apple orchard (I love gardening) and tons of space for the kids. I can still smell the scent of a freshly hayed field. Nothing like it.

Within weeks of moving in, my oldest daughter came to me and told me that she kept having nightmares of a man hanging in her bedroom, which was in the basement. It wasn't a usual basement, it was a finished basement with a bedroom, a bathroom and a large family room.

In her dream, she could hear the creaking of wood from where the man was hanging and she could only see his feet and legs, she could never see a face.

As the days went on, my oldest daughter would often talk about dreams she had of how the house “used to be” and the “people in it”.

When my husband and I originally came to view the home before we decided to buy it, we did not have the kids with us, and we were shown an album of what the house looked like before the renovations.

None of our kids would have knowledge of how the house looked before the renovations. We were not given the album to keep, and our kids did not come with us to see the house before we bought it.

However, our oldest daughter explained the house to a tee to us and she said that a man either hung himself or was hung in the basement, which is where her bedroom was. She was adamant about it.

It wasn't until we all began to hear a whistling of an old war song and nightly banging from one of the barns that I decided to look into what was going on and partly because of what we had already experienced.

So, I went to the historical society to dig up information on our house.

Low and behold, there was a man who came home from the civil war to find that his wife and three children had died of a plague and he, who was a former blacksmith, now losing his farm, had hung himself in a tree that was out in the front yard of our house.

All of them were buried in an old stone fenced lot approximately 70 feet from the house which was originally part of the land, but was no longer at the time that we purchased the house.

Crazy right?

Well, this would only be the beginning of a whole new nightmare.

We ignorantly thought we had the answers to the bizarre, somewhat limited and - harmless - at -the -time, goings on.

One day I was driving home on Rt 93 from Methuen Mass. I was coming home from my pediatricians office with my oldest daughter and my young son, baby number 5 who was about three years old at the time. This meant that my three other daughters were home with each other. At this point, the two younger girls could be watched by my second oldest daughter.

And yes, my pediatricians office was in Methuen Mass at the time because I was very happy with her, she cared for all of my children since my oldest was a baby and I didn't want to switch to a doctor closer to where we lived.

As I drove under the over pass of Wellington Rd in Manchester, my cell phone rings.

When I answered, all I could make out was my third daughter crying hysterically and screaming about a woman when my oldest daughter grabbed the phone and immediately started saying; “It's ok, it's ok, she can't hurt you, calm down sweetie, we are almost home”.

My oldest daughter then said to me; “mom, we need to get home fast, now she's taunting (and she used my daughters name)” . I literally had no idea what my oldest was talking about until she began to explain to me the following;

Apparently, my oldest daughter had, for a few weeks been being bothered by something in the house that took the appearance of a young, sinister woman with dirty or greasy long, black hair, dressed in an old Victorian dress.

This was around the time that I learned the term “Indigo” in reference to people.

Indigo people can see, sense and are bothered by the presence of the deceased and are sensitive to demonic forces. It was becoming more clear that I did not only have one Indigo child (my oldest),
but it appeared that we were all somewhat “Indigo”. Again more specificity on that shortly.

The woman had long, black hair, black eyes and she wore a long ivory torn and raggedy (or dirty white) dress, with a high collar, long sleeves that flared out at the wrists and she was always missing feet. She floated.

We came to learn through investigative efforts (later on) that when a demonic force takes the form of a human, it cannot look 100% human, it is always missing some body part. In this case it was feet. Sometimes, this demonic force would be missing an eye, but it was, for the most part feet that she was missing most times.

Up until this point, the sinister woman had only revealed herself to my oldest daughter, but now my youngest daughter was being harassed by her too, and my oldest daughter knew this and it was why she grabbed the phone from me to calm her sister down. She knew the moment she could hear my daughter screaming.

We got home, my youngest daughter was in the fetal position in the corner of the couch and my third daughter (the pie ship) was rubbing her back. I had my youngest daughter explain to me what had happened. This is what she said;

My daughter was coming down the stairs into the living room when a woman with long, black hair and an old dirty dress appeared in the threshold of the living room and floated over to the left wall (from my daughters perspective).

The woman then took her hand as if to touch the wall and she ran the bottom side of her hand slowly across the wall as she floated over to my daughter. When she got to my daughter, the woman had black eyes and she stared at my daughter with a grin, and she quickly tilted her head to the right and a noose around her neck appeared, she then disappeared. My daughter said that the woman's face was discolored with blueish blotched skin. She looked dead, but was alive.

My daughter was terrified at what she saw and I was disturbed to know that my kids were being bothered again by a sinister force.

Of course, I was thinking “did this thing, this demonic force follow us this whole time from house to house?”

I had no answers for what had been repeatedly happening to my family.

From this moment on, the young demonic woman wasn't shy. She began to reveal herself multiple times a day to different family members and it never mattered where any of us were. We could be in the bathroom, a bedroom, the hallway, the living room, the basement, the yard, the pool area, the basketball court, It never mattered. She could be anywhere, at any time.

My husband and I always took the kids to church on Sunday and when things got really bad, we'd pray the Rosary as a family.

On one particular Sunday, we had come home from church to find my Gas Jenn Air off, but my
CAST IRON square grates were disintegrated on top of the stove and were hot to the touch.

Do you have any idea how hot something has to be to not only melt cast iron, but to turn them to dust?

They were not completely dust, the middle part of them was, but the corners of the squares were still in tact.

We had made close friends with a particular neighbor whose kids would sleep over until they began to hear an old war song being whistled by there ear as they tried to sleep and when their parents were over on a Friday night and the sinister woman decided to scare one of the neighbors kids.

This was absolutely not normal from house to house.

My kids would wake up to this thing, with her standing by their bed or she would bump their bed or ours, to wake them or my husband and I up.

Things began to get really bad when we began hearing growls, tapping, or items would be moved, flung off the wall or spun around, and when she began taking the form of different family members...

One morning the kids were all getting ready for school (except my son who was too little).

My youngest daughter went upstairs to use the bathroom, because I was in the main floor bathroom starting my laundry. My youngest daughter saw her oldest sister slightly bent over the sink in her pink nightgown / duster brushing her teeth and she told her that she needed to use the bathroom.

My oldest daughter did not acknowledge her younger sister. So, my youngest daughter said her name again and said “common' I just need to pee”.

Who my youngest daughter thought was my oldest daughter, picked her head up to look in the mirror back at my youngest daughter, it was the sinister woman grinning at her.

My youngest daughter screamed and she quickly ran down back the stairs, but before she got there, a pink faded swoosh went by the door to the bathroom where I was toward the kitchen.

It flew into the basement where my oldest daughter was, because suddenly I heard my oldest daughter struggling to yell” Mom, it's in me” and I immediately ran down to my daughter, but she came out of it just as quickly.

My youngest daughter told me that the woman looked like her oldest sister and was even wearing her pink nightgown until she looked into the mirror at her.

This would be the first time that I personally would see something physical related to this sinister woman. I had heard things, and I experienced things but I had never actually seen her.

But wait there's more.

I learned the hard way never to challenge a demonic force.

To most people this would seem like a no-brainier, but when you see your kids being intentionally frightened every day in their own home, in their own bedrooms and harassed on a regular basis in their own home, at what point do you take action?

I distinctly remember my kids telling me that this woman began taking the form of me, but she never had my crucifix on. She dressed like me, she would sit on the front porch and smoke a cigarette like me, she would go up into the barn on the second floor like me, but she did not ever have my crucifix on her neck.

On this particular day, my girls were all sitting around the dining room table together because this sinister woman was quickly going from room to room bothering them. My third daughter was in tears, my youngest daughter had her knees pulled up to her chest.

They called me into the dining room, told me what she was doing and said that now she is going from window to window in the dining room just letting her presence to my kids known. She was taunting them again. There was nowhere in the house or outside they could go to escape this.

OK, well, I had had enough.

I literally and vocally demanded the sinister woman to leave my kids alone, to pick on someone of her own age (ridiculous I know) to not be such a coward. I literally demanded that she show herself to me.

I thought my oldest daughter was going to have a heart attack. She yelled at me; “mom, stop, stop, don't do that, you have no idea what you are dealing with”. I told her I was done dealing with her shit, torturing my kids and that the coward, the wannabe an actual human, but can't be, can deal with me for now on.

Nothing happened. I waited, and I said; “That's what I thought you friggen coward”.

And still, nothing happened.

But, this is the day when I personally learned that demonic forces prefer to use the element of surprise and deceit in their scare arsenal.

A couple of hours later, I was walking through my living room and into my dining room when something caught my eye.

From where I was in the house, there were three windows that looked out to the dirt driveway and beyond to the front lawn.

I stopped in my tracks, and looked harder out of the window, and sitting in the drivers seat of my Durango was a young woman with greasy, long, black hair. Her hands were on my steering wheel and she had a high frilly or lacy collar up her neck. She looked solid, like flesh and blood. She was not transparent as one might imagine a ghost or a demonic entity to look like. She quickly turned her head to look at me and grin. Her face was blotchy blue and her eyes were black, black sockets.

I literally said; Oh hell no”, and I ran to the door to go out when my oldest daughter came running up the stairs from her bedroom yelling “mom don't!” somehow my daughter knew or felt what was going on.

I opened the door and went out and in a blink of an eye, the woman disappeared.

From this point on, I felt more helpless then ever to help or to protect my kids.

How do you fight against something like this?

How do you protect your kids from something like this?

What exactly is this thing capable of?

From this point on, every door way and threshold in my house had a crucifix over them, every window had the name Jesus written on paper stuck to them, because my mother-in law before she died, used to tell me that the devil cannot cross these lines.

We were so accustom to saying “In the name of Jesus I command you to leave” that it became the norm in our home.

People would visit and they would experience something and we were there to casually explain that it wasn't a big deal, just blow it off, all because we had lived with this for so long. It literally was our norm. We were so used to it.

At times, we (all of us) would be woken to the sound of giggling, yelling and a man laughing. We would look out of the window and there would be a man, and two young girls playing in the yard, they would stop and look up at us (2 O'clock in the morning), and each time my husband would go outside, they would disappear.

I remember in 2008 I had a garden. I love to garden and so my husband got a rototiller and got the soil ready.

My garden was doing really well until one day my youngest daughter said mom she's in your garden.

Being used to this bullshit, none of us ever had to ask “who?”, we all knew who “she” was in our family conversations.

I looked out, there she was touching my corn stalks, weaving in and out of them. Within four days, my garden quickly rotted and my tall beautiful sun flowers were all intentionally bent at the middle of their stems and faced the ground.

Again, I could not make this shit up if I tried.

So, I went out to my garden. This time, I tried to be nice. I tried speaking directly to this thing as if it had actual feelings, ya right.

But I tried. I asked it nicely to please leave my family alone. I told it that we had done nothing to it and I asked why it was after my family. Like, I really wanted to know why or what we did to cause all of this and I didn't understand why we were the focus.

I even tried to be understanding by saying if something terrible happened to you when you were alive (thinking it may have been human at some point) that we were not responsible for whatever happened and that I was sorry for it.

I begged for it to leave us alone.

There was nothing I could do or say to get rid of this thing.

So, I once again resorted to a priest. At this point we asked the priest from our church to come and bless our home. We explained what was happening, and of course he was more than accommodating.

The priest came, he blessed every square inch of our home and before leaving he said whatever was here is no longer here.

Finally, it worked. We had some peace. At least for a couple of weeks anyway.

To date, I believe that it never left, I believe it just hid, because It came right back.

That was my thought then because I did not realize that we were all creating and manifesting all of these terrible things.

Things to keep in mind to make creating a little easier

1. Right now, you are bringing into your life everything that you are conscious of being

2. Your present image of yourself is right now objectified in the world that you are experiencing

3. Your conscious state in which you live (your daily life),determines the world in which you live

4. Your consciousness is the CAUSE of your world

5. Two things cannot occupy a space at the same time. So, if you focus on that which you want, what you don't want must disappear.

Ignore what your 3 dimensional senses if they tell you that you don't have what you want. Focus instead on what you want, and put your 3 dimensional senses to work for you in meditation.

Funny story. This just happened the week before Christmas ...I manifested a Duffle Bag

 

For about 4 days while I was creating a month ago in December, I kept focusing on a dark duffle bag. I wanted the duffle bag to be full of money and I wanted it to be a duffle bag that I found, like someone had just dumped it off somewhere. I had even focused on where I would find it.

And so, I did picture the duffle bag full of money and I went through with my 3 dimensional senses; seeing the duffle bag, feeling the straps to the duffle bag, smelling the money, touching the money, letting the money fall through my hands and the joy I felt, and I was focusing on where it would be found.

But, for some reason I repeatedly focused more on the duffle bag itself. It just kept standing out to me no matter how hard I tried to focus more on the money. So, after 4 days of this, I switched to creating something else so I could more easily focus on money, which I did create the very next morning; $250.00 was literally given to me by surprise. 

However, a little over a week later, my adult son was going for a walk. I watched him leave. Then I noticed in one of the windows he was quickly coming back.

Guess why he was coming back so quickly? He found a dark duffle bag!

My son had no idea of what I created or when I'm creating, he never knows. It's not something I go around telling him or anyone else about. I told him after the fact, but he's used to all of this by now.

The duffle bag was exactly where I had created it to be. But, the duffle bag was not full of money, it was full of a few pieces of sporting equipment that someone left on the side of the road.

So as you can see, I still make mistakes sometimes. I focused too much on the duffle bag itself and not enough on sensing the money.

The picture of the duffle bag is a picture of the actual duffle bag my son found. He dropped it by the front door the day before we got a big snow storm and it has been there since.